Thursday, August 31, 2006
First he's a lawyer for the MTA who needs to let me know how stupid everyone else is and how he is just being wasted at his job. Oh bravo LegalEagle, way to start this off with a chip on your shoulder!!
Then when we are talking about childhood and growing up, he asks me if I would go to back to the town I grew up in and I said no, that I wasn't happy there and he wants to know why so I tell him something vague like "well since my dad passed away when we were children, I kind of had to work to help support the family at a really young age so I didn't really have much time to make friends, but these people weren't the nicest people either." There is truly a whole backstory but its stupid and I don't get into it with strangers. His response was "well I worked as a kid too and I still had time to make friends, and I'm still friends with them today!" Oh good for you fuckface, way to take a situation you know nothing about and a person you know nothing about and pass judgement! So then I mention that the schools I went to were full of jappy bitches and jocks and since I "poor" I was treated like shit and I don't care to move back there again. His response "well maybe you are holding on to a preconcieved snub and not giving them the benefit of the doubt?" WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THIS?? Did I just sign up for therapy? Who the fuck are you to be fucking judge me?!?!?!
At this point I'm pretty pissed because in addition him being a lawyer he's also completely without a sense of humor, for example:
me "I place a lot of emphasis on chemistry when meeting a person"
him "oh you're a science major" (UGH LOSER)
me "I went to a SUNY school upstate"
him "you went to a sunny school where you studied science" (DOUBLE UGH with an eyeroll and a kick in the nuts)
I finally had to tell him to stop that "running joke" because "it wasn't funny the first time" and his response was "well it wasn't meant to be a joke or funny"
WHAT? THAT WAS A SERIOUS RESPONSE!?!?
So the next day he catches me online and he wants to know more about what I do, and I figure I should give this guy another session and see if he's still the same. So I tell him about the type of law (internet commerce) that I deal with and he starts in on me about "why is that illegal?", "get some experts", "maybe you should pay them more", "what is this, what is that?" what is nothing dude, I'm not taking a goddamn fucking test!! If you're interested, be interested, but don't try to catch me up and argue fucking case law with me, I don't give a flying fuck and I could care less what you know. Which btw way isn't much, it was like explaining why the sky is blue to a 3 year old.
But speaking of children, after about an hour of this I am ready to bolt, so I start making noises about having to be up early and he starts in about his 15 year old daughter. WHOA NELLY!! Turns out his profile isn't exactly accurate, he's divorced, a 15 year old daughter, and 5 years older than he said he was, which puts him in his 50's. Yeah, no thanks, see ya later if I don't see ya first - dickhead.
New sales person sends me terms to review from a client. I respond and say we cannot agree to those terms and I need him to send me the terms in a word document so that I can edit them to our satisfaction. Now most normal people realize at this point that their deal is on "hold" until both parties can hammer out the details. Not super-genius douchenozzle sales guy!! He sends me an email saying that we can use their terms because they signed them already. WTF?!?! Did you not just read my email stating that we CANNOT USE THOSE TERMS BECAUSE WE WILL NOT AGREE TO THEM??? Then the idiot sends the client an email telling them they need to sign the word version of the terms (which, unless they magically negotiated themselves - are still the same unacceptable terms from before). Now the client wants to know why they have to sign those in addition to the terms they already signed and sent. Which is a legitimate question on their part because the fucking moron neglected to mention to the client that we were going to be negotiating them! THEN he sends me an email asking me to "clarify" why we can't use the original signed terms!! At this point I heard a blood vessel pop in my brain and I had to leave to stick flaming toothpicks under my nails.
You may remember a recent post about another MENSA candidate. Today's "issue" consisted of her flipping out at one of my employees because he has been asking her for a week to get a client to send a new IO. The problem is that their order has an item that we will not be providing for them on it, and since we are not providing it, we cannot sign orders FOR MONEY that we are not going to actually deliver. Once its signed our finance group will charge them for that product! Now some extremists might even go so far as to say that its ILLEGAL to sign orders for things you are not going to deliver, but not MENSA-girl! She doesn't see why its a big deal and she "doesn't want to deal with them anymore". Oh pussycat, you're so overworked and underappreciated. *tear* Yes MG, why don't we also go put a unicorn on there and maybe a Ferrari and have them sign it! I'm sure when the auditors go through their books they won't find anything wrong with their client paying for things that they never actually got! Oh and yes, its a good idea to start going shouty-crackers on an employee who holds the power to reject every order you ever submit again! My mom always said, if you want something done right, do it yourself. Well you did it, you've turned us all against you, and all on your own too! GUURRRL POWER!
New sales girl wants to know "why we can't just catch all the email spammers and put them in jail?" Oh, you know, what a good idea, lets get on that asap! Good thing they hired a thinktank like yourself! Now why don't you go back to shoving your tits in all the boys faces and let the grown ups do some work.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
"Bearpaw wishes nothing but death and destruction to stupid jappy girls who end every sentence with rising intonation."
"and white shoes, white shoes are fucking gay PERIOD"
"Bearpaw also hates when Bearpaw is drinking and there is no one to bum a smoke from. WTF?!?!?!"
I'm gonna assume Bearpaw is not putting much thought into his rants but it's ok - vague, unconstructed, irrelevent rants are what we are all about!!
Good luck on search for a smoke grubber, I mean Bearpaw!!
Brandon Davis - this oily motherfucker is such an immature tool. Watching him sweat and yell obscenties with an ever present Paris Hilton tittering in the background is worse than getting a pap smear and finding out you have herpes and AIDS. And *firecrotch*?? Let it go douchebag, watching your insecurities up close wasn't funny the first time around!
Joe Francis - here's a real ladies man. He's such a cocksman, his whole empire is based around him sexually harrassing inebriated young women. Yeah, it takes a real ladies man to get a drunk-off-her-ass coed to flash her tits and then meet him in the back of his bus. A REAL LADIES MAN.
Scott Storch - WTF?? This man is so repulsive just looking at him makes me want to take a shower in bleach. How much you wanna bet he cruises craigslist for black trannies??
John Mayer?!?! How this pasty-faced fugly assclown pulls women, I have no idea. His music is pedantic, his comedy is infantile, and HELLO?!?! HE'S FUCKING UGLY!! He looks like a fucking Picasso.*
Please - women of the world, stop feeding these guys' self esteem and egos, by dating them! Have some respect for yourself and date that cute guy at the coffee shop and stop whoring yourself for these cocks! UGH!!
*yes I know that's a woman, but he looks like that anyway, ugh don't be so goddamn literal, its annoying!!
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
So according to the posters in the back of the office by the copiers (which btw are giving me fucking cancer) it is not acceptable to punch a co-worker in the face* so alas I have to suck it up and contain my rage and forward the email to her while she pouts about *someone being a bad mood*. IN A BAD MOOD?? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Does she honestly think I would be in a good mood when she so clearly makes my life a living, miserable hell?! She turns my desk into a goddamn Hades!! How she gets past that fucking dog, I don't know. Tell me, what other company would allow this bullshit to take place?? But this is not the end, oh noooooo!
Today she tells me that she was offered a promotion to, wait for it....
THE JOB SHE ALREADY HAS!!!
How fucking incompetent is this department that they don't even know what a person who has been working here for like 2 years, DOES?!?!?! Are we living in a Seinfeld episode?? Fucking ridiculous, useless, no good asshole wasters, all of them. No wonder she doesn't do her job, no one knows what it is, so she can't get busted for not doing it! Where is that goddamn drink...
*I read them while shovelling a calming snickers bar down my throat
Monday, August 28, 2006
- running in the rain
- my dog, even with her stinky morning breath
- Rob Schneider movies and other movies of its genre
- my niece and nephews
- the smell of brand new expensive shoe leather
- not being the drunkest one in my group
- clothes fresh out of the dryer
- swedish meatballs
- falling asleep with the waves crashing outside my window instead of trucks barrelling down the BQE
- an ice cold dirty martini, straight up - with blue cheese olives
- a cup of coffee and a cigarette after a really good meal
- a brand new magazine fresh out of its package clothing
- outdoor cafes
- people watching*
*bashing, I just wanted to keep this positive
Ok, well still not able to post pictures for my last few entries and blogger must have read the last entry because no love from the support desk. :( Which means those entries are kind obsolete now. The only way I can upload pics is if they come from my camera phone which is going to be weird yet maybe might start a new art movement trend. Ohhhh, thats a good idea, don't steal my idea fuckers, I am trademarking, patenting whatever, right NOW!!
Sorry about the missing rants will do better in the future.
Friday, August 25, 2006
UPDATE: I downloaded firefox and still no images :(
Thursday, August 24, 2006
When deciding whether or not to respond to an email from a potential online suitor, I have a very rigorous screening process. The first is the screen name of the person writing to me. Anyone with a stupid screen name does not even warrant me OPENING the email let alone perusing their profile or god forbid, responding to them! The second is the picture. If there is no picture or you look like this I won’t respond. We’ll tackle the screen names first. Below are some seriously egregious screen name choices (with one minor adjustment so you don’t stalk them, it’s all about privacy dude!) and these are all true.
- Creativeniceguy56 – oh yeah? Not so creative to think up a better name??
- Teddy_bear – ew, pedophile much?
- Bear78 – are you sure you’re on the right dating site??
- Binkster_:) - what are you, like 5?!
- Boo_boosmiles – seriously dude, are you an adult?!
- Single99999999 – no shit!? SINGLE? That’s so ironic because you’re on a singles site!
- Goldenbear70 – what is with the bear theme? Christ almighty!
- East_village_snuggler – what, was cuddlebunny already taken?! You homo.
- <3doctor4u>sooooooo gay
- Thefunnywriter – this has yet to be proven since no one can get past the name
- Computergeek_not – yeah right, who’s kidding who here?
- Spirituallyminded_mstr – ugh, contacting the wrong girl here, Jesus, did you not read my profile? Go save someone else.
And my personal favey - Colddeath1964 - ah, yes, lets do meet in a secluded park...
It’s true. They are all morons. The more credit you give them the more disappointed you are until you’re crying in your beer at the end of day mumbling in a low monotone “How?? How can they be so stupid??”. And the thing is; they just are. Now my job requires me to explain legal terms and policies to sales people and really, legal terms to a sales person? Sales people are one step up from frogs. There are monkeys who could do a better job. If one more person asks me “Can you give me an example of when our terms prevented us from being sued or made us money?”* my head will fucking explode. My response is normally to guzzle my drink, take a deep breath and then state: “YOU FUCKING MORON, TERMS ARE NOT COUPONS, IF YOU DON’T GET SUED THEN YOUR TERMS ARE WORKING YOU FUCKING IDIOT SPAZZCOCK, DON’T EVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN UNLESS YOU’RE TAKING MY ORDER AT DENNY'S AND I'M NOT CONVINCED YOU'RE EVEN QUALIFIED FOR THAT JOB!!”
Yesterday's tomfoolery consisted of a certain not smart person in Chicago, causing much pain and suffering by breathing and knowing how to use Outlook. Three days she’s been trying to push a deal through and 3 days my staff is telling her that they can’t until she fixes something and she doesn’t get it. She finally (hallelujah!) gets it today and acts like she didn’t waste our fucking time for 3 days but I have had it! I send her a very professional yet snotty email basically stating that she should listen to what we tell her without a whole lot of fuss but what I really want to say is “DON’T EVER FUCKING QUESTION US AGAIN OR I WILL CUT YOU BITCH!” But I am nothing if not professional.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
This could all be avoided if these friends could just keep their own fucking secrets.
*anyone THEY know
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
You know, I’m not embarrassed. I read gossip magazines. I read gossip blogs (except for that fat fuck, sellout Perez). I talk about gossip with the girls (and guys!) at work, at dinner parties, at the bar chatting up men. I’m not obsessed because I like to think I look at celebrities objectively. I believe they ARE like us, in fact the only thing separating *us* from *them* (besides a pesky restraining order) is the fact that they make tons and tons and tons of money for doing stupid shit like reality TV and game shows and shitty ass movies and they have a few more friends on their MySpace profiles than we do.
So this section of UsWeekly always kind of annoyed me because it just seemed so lame. Why do we care if they are “just like US”?! And why do they get to be rich and fancy AND also be just like US??? And why would you, UsWeekly, want to ruin the fantasy for us?? I don’t want to see pictures of them with wedgies or vomiting on the street*, I want to see them looking all perfect and fancy, wearing 100k dresses, otherwise why would they be special to me?? What else is going to fuel my self hatred and rage if these people are not in fact, perfect, and I don’t need to live up the impossible standards they set for all of society?? Honestly now, if I wanted to see people who were just like me, I’d go to the mall or the DMV or under a bridge.**
This particular issue got me ire up.*** The big picture is Alicia Silverstone and her husband and I don’t know, do these people even qualify as stars to begin with?! The last thing she was in was my trash can and before that it was Clueless and that was like 27 fucking years ago. Her husband, I don’t even know - so let’s just pretend he doesn’t exist. Then there is a really lovely photo of Marcia Cross with her hair in curlers (well done lowly PA, (curlers – scandalous!) but if you’re thinking to make money taking stealthy camera phone pics, try for Eva right before her Brazilian) getting a salad. WOW, a salad, that’s so fucking crazy because you know what EVERYONE EATS FUCKING SALAD!! How is that catching them at the “omg, I do the same thing” moment? What’s next, “Angelina Jolie inhales OXYGEN!”?!?! “Jake Gyllanhal’s dogs take a shit; they’re just like OUR DOGS!!” Ok, simmer down. The last, is Dean Cain buying a large bag of dog food. WOW. First of all, I don’t buy dog food in the 44 pound region because I have a small dog and she couldn’t eat 44 pounds of dog food in her lifetime so I guess he’s not like ALL of US. However, I do know some rednecks who buy dog food in bulk as “filler” for their meatloaf, so I guess Dean Cain is just like a hillbilly. Nice insult, way to go UsWeekly, you just bought yourself a lifetime of the finger from Dean Cain AND Britney Spears’ family. Listen, this section sucks but asshole people like me read it, so try to give it a little thought, a little effort, maybe upgrade from the monkey that currently writes it to an intern or something. Just a thought.
*I'm lying, I do want to see those pictures but it doesn't have to be celebrities, I'm just happy to wallow in someone else's mortification, regardless of their social stature.
**yes, I’m a troll, don’t be so fucking mean, asswipe, I have feelings too.
***actually I’m a leprechaun
*we all have that gay friend who has a friend whose ex worked as an EA for Harvey Weinstein and caught Harvey, Lance Armstrong and Tom Cruise in a 3way and now he's getting paid off by all of them but tell me, has anyone ever met this friend of a friend's ex??
Monday, August 21, 2006
first "assface on parade through the office this morning." - bearpaw
then "i just rejected that shit, they didnt do anything right, i'm not fucking waiting for her to schlep her way through this and bug me every step of it with 'i dont know what i'm doing, i fucking hate this place, it sucks, this client is crazy'" - bearpaw
and finally "use it, i dont effing care. you can feel free to copy that and stick it up there, and by stick it up there i mean yr blog, not her ass"* bearpaw
Ahhh, taste the mountain grown rage....
* he really meant up her ass though, he's just too polite sometimes
TWRep: You have to call us to set up a signal to the box.
Me: Ok, well no one told me, can you do that now?
TWR: No, you have to call when you are home.
Me: Why do I need to be home for you to send a signal?
TWR: That’s how it works.
Me: Ok, but why? Why do I have to be home if you’re just sending a signal??
TWR: Because we need to use the same line as your home phone line.
ME: (WTF?!)* But my home phone line is my cell phone; can’t I just call you now to do it?
TWR: Yes, no... Ma’am the only thing I can suggest…
Me: (cutting in now) Just tell me, why do I have to be home? How will you even know where I am, if I am calling from a cell phone?!**
TWR: Because we need to know if it works.***
Me: Why can’t you just do it now and I’ll call you when I get home if it DOESN’T work? Instead of me having to call again if it’s not necessary??
TWR: Ma’am the only thing I can suggest…
Me: UGH, *click* dialtone….
Seriously, these guys have surpassed the DMV in shitty customer service!! I have just had it and would cancel the whole fucking thing but then I wouldn’t be able to watch Flavor of Love and reruns of Seinfeld and The Golden Girls 27 times a day. FUCKING TIMEWARNER!! I CURSE YOU FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY SOUL!!!! Mark my words, some day soon, maybe not today, maybe not next week I will have cable. You may have won this battle my friend, but I will win the war.****
**shrill, very shrill
***ok, that makes sense, but why couldn’t she just say that in the beginning? You know she’s reading through a manual of responses to irate customer queries!
****I will never win, I am in total denial. I will be forced to get a shitty satellite dish that everyone makes fun of and I’ll just cry every time Family Guy goes out and I have to climb on my roof to readjust it and then I’ll FALL OFF THE GODDAMN ROOF and have to get major reconstructive surgery and they’ll give me a new face so when I finally get out of my coma no one will recognize me, I’ll have no friends, no family, no life, no money, no cable, just this shitty blog to keep me from sobbing 24/7 . How can you sleep at night, TWHell!?!?
Sunday, August 20, 2006
- he must be in the finance business, making at least a mill a year
- he must be at least 6' 2" tall, but not taller than 6' 5"**
- he must be brunette but not black hair
- he must golf
- he must be muscular but not *too* muscular
- he must not ride a bicycle
- upon marriage she will quit her job, but not to raise kids, just to not work anymore
- he must be willing to give up all decision making privileges
Now I'm sure there are men out there that actually fit this bill but are they interested in meeting a woman who is:
- completely high strung
- gets herself into the most ridiculous situations just so she can bitch about them
- complains NONFUCKINGSTOP, whether its a restaurant choice, her friends, her job, her car, the traffic, the elevator, coffee too hot/cold, the heat, the cold, (you get the picture) but does absolutely NOTHING to change any of these situations.
- is completely incapable of small talk. I mean does not know anything. No celebrity gossip, no politics except for what her father tells her, no current affairs. Every joke you have to explain to her, every story you have to back track to where you're saying things like "...and on the 7th day God rested...". Its fucking unreal that a woman her age (mid 30's), living in a large urban city, graduate degreed, can be this effing retarded!!
- is totally obsessed with an ex from over a year ago, to the point where she stalks his company's internet to look for him yet she believes that HE'S obsessed with her***!
When confronted with the sheer ridiculousness of her demands and told maybe she should try being a little more openminded, she merely goes back to the tired old "it doesn't matter because there are no men here anyway" or "so and so met someone and I'm soooo much better than them!". UGH! A Cosmo! woman she is not! I think her problem is she just needs to get laid. Maybe I'll hire her a gigolo for her birthday - if anything it will be a new story she can bitch about, I'm sooo bored with this one!!
*subject to change on a whim of course
**I swear she actually told me that one day
***he's not, he actually moved to another city soon after they broke up and has not so much as even IM'ed her since, although she stalks his IM and as further proof of his disinterest, every time she "bumped" into him in public he's been with different women.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
In order to keep us from flipping out, TW offers such amenities as flat screen tv's showing sports and computers with internet (also I think an effort to prove to their customers that their products actually work). I go to one of the half dozen or so computers and go to log into my email. Of course it immediately freezes once I log in, so I try to exit the program but that feature has been disabled according to the pop up that also froze on the screen. Now I'm getting annoyed because that fucking kid won't shut up and I can't find the the shut down button on the computer (turns out that was also disabled) and the computer screen is frozen on my inbox with emails that have subject lines like "Massive Cokk you ordered..." and "ci@lis will fix your problem" and they're getting closer to my number on the PA system but I don't want to leave my email inbox on a computer screen so I go to our number hander outer guy to ask him to help. Of course what I am really looking for was a lecture on how I shouldn't open my email on those computers, and he did not fail me. WTF do you offer free computers and internet if you're not supposed to check your email? Any time a person is given free internet access and an imposed waiting time they are going to do things LIKE CHECK THEIR FUCKING EMAILS! Isn't that half the reason computers were invented anyway?! Seriously, WTF!?!
Anyway after he was done condescending to me, I told him he should put up a notice that says "don't check your email on these computers" because to illustrate my point, everyone at the computers were checking their emails. Except for that one guy, who was finding out more about Oksana, the russian hottie who's been waiting for him to contact her.
ps, the new box doesn't work :(
Thursday, August 17, 2006
1. that we're on online date (thanks mister subtle, I'm pretty sure that group of tourists heard you but yes saying it AGAIN at a higher decible is a great idea! They ARE tourists.)
2. a date he was on where the woman was "smelly". Like BO/halitosis smelly. He clearly does not know how to censor his stories because even though she was smelly they went back to her place, made out, and then he had another date with her.
3. his roommate. Here is a guy who is got to be in his 50's WITH A FUCKING ROOMMATE.
4. his asian fetish
5. how his asian fetish is not a fetish, its a preference. Riiiiiiiiight, I see the distinction now, its totally less creepy.
After about an hour of this nonsense, I'm ready to go. But OOOH NO! Not Mister LoudTalker! He's just getting warmed up. Seeing that there would be no gracious exit from this date, I tell him I'm going to the bathroom to see if maybe I can make a run for it (that last part I kept to myself). No such luck - MLT has followed me. WTF? Can't a girl even ditch a date with dignity anymore?! I return, with him in tow, and I feel like a chastened schoolgirl who has been caught showing her knickers. After another hour of inane chatter that touched on asians "running things", his dead cat, the Iraq war, the smell in his car and me needing to be up early (its 3 in the afternoon) he decides he wants to eat. This is by far the most repugnant annoyance. As it turns out, not only is Mister Loud Talker, a loud talker, but he's also an open mouth chewer! Does he have any idea how repulsive half masticated ravioli shooting out of his mouth onto my salad is?!?! Fucking infants have better table manners! Tell me, how the fuck does a man get to be his age without learning some fucking etiquette?!
Someone, PLEASE, tell me why I continue to do this??s
Dr Z car commercials
really obese cats
people who dress their animals up in wigs and kerchiefs and shit. That's abuse buddy!
people who don't control their kids in public places
people who don't drink but still go out to bars
rosanna "blotto" scotto
AOL speak (LOL, LMAO, ttyl, kewl, you get the picture)
reality tv except for anything with excessive cursing or the british version
Friends the tv show
getting a crotch in your face when you're sitting down on a subway
people who hog the whole fucking pole on said subway
monkeys who act like people
people who think sex and the city references are still relevent - let it go
pushy shot girls, i don't need your tits in my face
fake myspace pages
protesters - get a fucking job you wasters
americans in paris
lesbians that look like dudes
dvd's with no special features
smug mac users
Ok, thats a good starter list, be sure to check back, I have more!
Exhibit A –
My ex-friend, we’ll call her C. is a recipient of this ridiculous obsession with forgiveness. C is married but also enjoying the added fun of having an affair with her husband’s (Z.’s) best friend (D.). She has been having this affair for a year now. Her husband knows this and does nothing, content to be a fat, lazy cuckold. D. also allows C. to walk all over him, but he’s so “in love” that he forgives all the shit she does to him. I have witnessed C. get her husband thrown in jail and then go to her boyfriend to bail him out. Now truth be told, both of these “men” are, in fact, pussies. They are both in their early 30’s, not exactly prime specimens (Z is fat and lazy and D is best described as as high strung and emotional as a menapausal woman), both had maybe one girlfriend before C. so not exactly familiar with the concept of dating and they clearly have not been clued into this thing called "self respect". They are both so afraid of being alone that they would rather have a selfish, overbearing, lousy drunk shrew treating them like shit every second of the day. Personally, I’d like to punch her in the tits.
N. is a friend of C.’s and is engaged. She recently found her fiancée watching porn that consisted of one female human being and one non-human being donkey (from what I heard this was not a first time thing - a stash of similar porn was also discovered). Now, while she may resemble a farm animal (she’s kind of a pig) it’s not enough of a turn-on for M. (the fiancée). N. had an excrutiating week to tell all her friends and think of random scenarios like "does he want me to fuck a donkey?" Now, I certainly watch my fair share of porn, not donkey porn, that's gross, but whatever, guy is a freak. What pisses me off about this is that she was so appalled that he was keeping this secret from her, and that she could never trust him again, blah blah. After calling off the bridal shower and making a lot of people lose money on it, she made a decision. The wedding must go on! What a trooper.
N2 is dating a lawyer. First mistake right there, lawyers are douchebags during work hours because they get paid to be, but they are douchebags for free to the women who they date. N2 is thinking things are going ok (if a little slow) until she sees his wedding announcement in the NYTimes. Two months later she runs into him (they never spoke after the announcement) and all of a sudden she’s going to Cabo with him on vacation. This girl is seriously fucking damaged.
Now me, I can forgive, but I never forget. Fuck with me once and you better sleep with one eye open. Two years ago, I caught my ex J. on an online dating site the same month that he proposed to me. I set up a sting operation to catch him (I didn’t want to accuse him if it was an old profile) and lo and behold he was snared in my e-net. I dumped him immediately and never looked back. Even though he still emails and calls me, I’ve never looked back. I recently did a google stalk on my exes and what comes up but a profile on a 3some and fetish site that he put up the month before he proposed (for some reason its dated). Seeing him on that site just reaffirmed what I always thought, “thank god I am a vengeful bitch”.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
*hammered after drinking for 6 hours and shouting at the top of his lungs
**such a bitch
***some men actually like bitchy women, we'll get to that another time
*****hopefully it won't be just myself reading these
******unless you are one of the people doing one of the ranted against things and if so, take note, you're pissing people off.
In any event, I'm noticing a weird trend on a certain popular dating site that I am a member of. No longer content to just lie about themselves on their profile, men (I only view guys so I don't know about the women, this isn't scientific) are starting to put up random photos of people who are not themselves in order to a) be cutesy (not a very good trait in a man) b) stand out (oh thats happending, all right!) or c) are just fucking clueless. I'll shut up now and let the pictures do the talking.
This first one gave me nightmares (still does). Its so horrific I cannot look at it for more than 3 seconds before I start to freak out. I'm sure its probably some photo from a movie or something random*, so if anyone recognizes it, let me know. FYI, you've been warned.
This one is what? I'm pretty sure I'm not on twink.com. If you're wondering why you aren't getting any responses its probably because girls think a guy in a pink ballerina/butterfly costume is GAY. This is NYC, after all. Stop being such a fag and change your photo.
So the point of this whole rant is that unless you are looking for ugly and/or gay mates, stop posting ugly and/or gay photos. And if you are looking for ugly and/or gay mates STOP EMAILING ME. I'm not interested.
*I know its not him because I had a friend look at his profile and she said there were other pics on there that were "normal".