ONLINE DATING PHOTOS

For those of you reading between the lines on my first entry, you probably realize I am single. As a single person in NYC our only alternative is online dating. Forget meeting guys at church, hardware stores, the library (who the fuck goes to the LIBRARY?!) or your friends. If your friends are like mine the last thing you want them to know is that you're looking to date because at this age, you're getting set up with their random (friend of the catcher's g/friend on the company softball team!) single guy friends and as any normal person will tell you, these are not the pick of the litter. I find myself more and more at weddings of friends getting nudged together with a guy that is shorter than me (I'm short, ok, let it go) and a backstory that consists of "in college there was this masturbation thing in the locker room but I'm sure no one remembers it now" as they proceed to tell you the entire story and laugh hysterically. Once they gather their composure, its all "but he's sooooooooo nice and he really REALLY likes you!" with a fixed toothy smile. WTF kind of friends are these?!?!

In any event, I'm noticing a weird trend on a certain popular dating site that I am a member of. No longer content to just lie about themselves on their profile, men (I only view guys so I don't know about the women, this isn't scientific) are starting to put up random photos of people who are not themselves in order to a) be cutesy (not a very good trait in a man) b) stand out (oh thats happending, all right!) or c) are just fucking clueless. I'll shut up now and let the pictures do the talking.

This first one gave me nightmares (still does). Its so horrific I cannot look at it for more than 3 seconds before I start to freak out. I'm sure its probably some photo from a movie or something random*, so if anyone recognizes it, let me know. FYI, you've been warned.







This one is what? I'm pretty sure I'm not on twink.com. If you're wondering why you aren't getting any responses its probably because girls think a guy in a pink ballerina/butterfly costume is GAY. This is NYC, after all. Stop being such a fag and change your photo.



So the point of this whole rant is that unless you are looking for ugly and/or gay mates, stop posting ugly and/or gay photos. And if you are looking for ugly and/or gay mates STOP EMAILING ME. I'm not interested.

*I know its not him because I had a friend look at his profile and she said there were other pics on there that were "normal".