Thursday, August 24, 2006


When deciding whether or not to respond to an email from a potential online suitor, I have a very rigorous screening process. The first is the screen name of the person writing to me. Anyone with a stupid screen name does not even warrant me OPENING the email let alone perusing their profile or god forbid, responding to them! The second is the picture. If there is no picture or you look like this I won’t respond. We’ll tackle the screen names first. Below are some seriously egregious screen name choices (with one minor adjustment so you don’t stalk them, it’s all about privacy dude!) and these are all true.

  • Creativeniceguy56 – oh yeah? Not so creative to think up a better name??
  • Teddy_bear – ew, pedophile much?
  • Bear78 – are you sure you’re on the right dating site??
  • Binkster_:) - what are you, like 5?!
  • Boo_boosmiles – seriously dude, are you an adult?!
  • Single99999999 – no shit!? SINGLE? That’s so ironic because you’re on a singles site!
  • Goldenbear70 – what is with the bear theme? Christ almighty!
  • East_village_snuggler – what, was cuddlebunny already taken?! You homo.
  • <3doctor4u>sooooooo gay
  • Thefunnywriter – this has yet to be proven since no one can get past the name
  • Computergeek_not – yeah right, who’s kidding who here?
  • Spirituallyminded_mstr – ugh, contacting the wrong girl here, Jesus, did you not read my profile? Go save someone else.

    And my personal favey - Colddeath1964 - ah, yes, lets do meet in a secluded park...


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