Tuesday, September 05, 2006


Starbucks. The whole experience is just soul crushing and demeaning. First of all, you have wait on a line that is like 20 fucking deep and it doesn't move fast either. Then you finally get close enough to one of those douchebag barrista's, and what the fuck is that?? Is EMPLOYEE too common for you?! Now you're a fucking "barrista"?! But now, they don't say anything, they just RAISE THEIR ARM when they're ready to take your order! WTF?? First of all, there are always like 4 or 5 of them in a row and I can't see past 5 - 6' tall men to notice if you're raising your fucking arm, and I don't need the cunt behind me sighing loudly and sirening "NEXT" in my fucking ear, so you know what, give a number or a shout or something. And then sometimes they ask your name and sometimes they don't - which to me is like Radio Shack asking for your home phone number. Obviously you can operate without it, and half the time its spelled wrong anyway, so mind your own fucking business, MISTER BARRISTA. And then you're herded down to the other end to pick up your drink and there are always like 10 people milling around and always one or two people that mosey on down and park right in front of the table where the drinks come out, effectively blocking everyone else who's already waiting and HELLO dickfaces, those other drinks are coming out first! So now everyone has to angle around you and listen to you giggle "oops, that's not mine, saawwy!" as you manhandle everything that is put down on the table. THEN you have to wait on another frigging line to put milk or sugar in your coffee and there is always that one woman in her Alfred Dunner career-wear and tragically sensible shoes, desperately trying to hold on to her 3o's and acting like a kick ass corporate whatever, who needs to put her splenda's in one at time and stir it and taste it and add another and WTF BITCH?!?! You know you take 3 every day so put three in at once and get out of the fucking way.

And all this is for an overpriced, CRAPPY cup of coffee and a refrigerated muffin. I don't know why I do this every day, I try to break the habit and I've realized that I just forget how sucky this is until I am on that goddamn line!

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