Monday, September 04, 2006


The other night I was out, at a bar. I noticed that the bar had a whole line of generic clear vodka bottles across it so when the bartender came over to take my order I asked if they had Stoli and he said they did and I ordered a Stoli Oh and tonic. When the drink came I noticed that it was kind of cloudy but it tasted ok, a little sweeter than Stoli oh but whatever, obviously they "make" their own vodka and even though he lied to me I let it go because it was an aussie bar (I feared a bloody brawl if the bartender thought I was questioning him) and the drinks were pretty cheap, and the bartender was cute. But then after eating, I started getting a little drunk and a little flirtatious (not pretty) so when I ordered another one, I confronted him on the fact that that it wasn't really Stoli and that he shouldn't say it is and then he proceeds to tell me the most ridiculous line that has now totally convinced me that eating kangaroo makes you retarded. His line is that IT IS Stoli but they infuse it themselves with oranges (which is illegal he informs me). WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU INFUSING A VODKA THAT ALREADY COMES IN A HANDY INFUSED FORMULA?!?!?!!? WTF kind of happy horseshit is this?? Do they really expect me to believe that they take a top shelf vodka, then mix in oranges and god knows what other garbage and it comes out all cloudy and shit and people actually prefer that?! And lets face it, does anyone really believe that its STOLI?? We all know its some random shit that comes out of a koala bears ass. What pisses me off is that he knows goddamn well its not Stoli but he lies to me (and presumably everyone else) and then has the nerve to keep a straight face while implying that people actually like it better!! I may have been born at night, but it wasn't last night, buster!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

stoli is a call drink, not top shelf.