Saturday, September 16, 2006

I HEART THIS CRAIGSLIST POSTER

Perusing craiglist today and came across this. Since its a male who seems to share my same pet peeves, it's not surprising that some other hussy has already sunk her claws into him, but I thought I'd re-post his surprisingly (for a guy) lucid and helpful advice for all, no editing.

Ok, first of all I'm a guy. I know you asked for women's advice but I thought I'd throw you a couple things that worked for me. I was on Match.com and found a great girl, etc, etc... I have no idea what you are like or who you would like to meet but here's a couple pointers:

1. When picking out a picture of yourself to post, wear a shirt, don't flex and don't look like you are preparing to slip her a mickey and drag her back to your basement apartment at your mom's house. In other words, look friendly and genuine.

2. When describing what your interests are, lay off the obvious. We ALL like to spend time with friends, cook dinner, go out to a bar and sometimes stay in and watch a movie. Be original! If you have no original interests, show some humor and joke about that fact. It may get you somewhere.

3. Speaking of humor, be funny enough to keep their interest but don't try too hard. You will come across annoying.

4. DO NOT WINK. Did you hear that??? DO NOT WINK!!! Women get hundreds of winks a week, or day depending. You will not stand out among them, I assure you. Drop a QUICK line. Not your life story, but not something creepy and short either like, "I think I love you".

5. If someone does not write you back, forget it. Here's why: They are not interested for whatever reason and if you hound them, you are automatically the weird match.com stalker. Most women on there join in packs of dozens. They trade stories, send each other the newest match.com rejects/psychos/stalkers... odds are that you will piss one off and then try to write to someone who is their best friend. You just ruined your chances with 2-12 women. Not good. It's slim pickings on there to begin with. Especially if you're looking within 5 miles of your area code. Oh, that also goes for using the ol' "copy and paste emails", too. Keep them personal, original and pertaining to something they wrote in their profiles. It shows you did more than look at their picture and think they are hot. They compare these emails with each other's and the last thing you want is carbon paper ink all over your introductions.

6. When you start talking with someone, make the emails a little more personal and longer as you go. Do not keep writing, "So, how was your day today?" after the 10th email. That gets played out real quick and they will most likely move on to another guy.

7. Try planning to meet up or just talk over the phone sooner than later to show you are interested. Give her YOUR number and put the ball in HER court. Women don't like to give out their number over the internet and I don't blame them one bit. HEY! NOW WHO'S LOOKING CONSIDERATE?? That's you, big guy!

8. When picking a name for yourself on there, stay FAR AWAY from names like, "Flexing4U", "GoYanks", "84TransAm", etc etc... Basically, don't come across like a meathead. Even if you happen to be one.

9. Lastly, you see that picture of Lawrence Taylor you attached to your CL post? Yeah.... lose that. No pics of your football heroes, car, triceps, weight bench, pets, you kissing a little baby (they aren't going to think that you are the sweetest guy going.. you'll have to prove that later on after you meet her).

10. Wait, I lied... one more. Be sure to spell EVERY SINGLE WORD CORRECTLY with full knowledge of the English language, punctuation and grammar. Learn to use spellcheck and/or make friends with someone who does. Remember, "Their" is completely different from "There"...

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