Yesterday I received an email from a very special suitor. Apparently this is no joke, because being intrigued, I had to look at his profile and I was quite alarmed at what was on there. Let me also say that this guy is no looker, in fact he bears a very striking resemblance to this guy. He also claims to be a writer, yet he had several pretty obvious spelling errors and a quirky way of turning every sentence into a title, eg. “I Am Very Good Looking and Looking For A Hot Chick to Turn Me On”. Hmmm, interesting. Anyway, here is a tidbit from his profile and I have to say - points for honesty but kicks in the nuts for outright douchebaggery.
"The Woman Must Be Very Attractive. Sorry No muts. See I'm a Cute Guy and walking around with a chick that looks like she just got hit with a frying pan ain't cuttin it. Really Strictly Hotties or Cuties. She has to have a brain too. No dip shits. I'd rather talk to a telephone pole than a ding bat."
I have to say, I’m torn between being flattered that he finds me a “Strictly Hottie or Cutie”. But he’s obviously a total asshat and again, I wonder, why me? WHYYYYY ME, GOD?! Would it kill you to send me one half-way decent, slightly normal guy?!
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