SUCKY TRAVEL

I just got back from some business travel and it was the worst trip in a l looooong time!! First I wake up at 4 am on Monday and realize that I am getting the sniffles but I thought it was just allergies so I take a Claritin and leave for the airport. At the airport I go to use the ladies room and it is fucking filthy. I mean I know it's an airport but it looked like homeless people were camping out in there. All the doors were broken, every toilet had unflushed waste in them (UGH), urine on the seats. I had to walk to another terminal to find a different bathroom. Then we are on the plane for 45 minutes when they come on the PA system and tell us that the pilot is "sick"* and that we would have to de-plane and wait 2 hours for another pilot to come in. So then it's 3 hours later and still no pilot. Finally at 3.5 hours they tell us there is a pilot "parking his car in the employee parking lot. Now he's putting a jacket on. Now he's walking towards the terminal. No wait, he's going back, he forgot to lock his doors!". Nice commentary but just tell us when he's on the fucking plane already!

[On a side rant, the movie on the plane was "Poseidon". I'm not sure a movie about a ship getting wrecked and everyone drowning is the best material for a turbulent plane ride above an ocean. I mean I know one's a plane and one's a boat, but the image is the same. Screaming, drowning people, smoke, water, death. Nice images, but I'd prefer Snakes on a Plane to this crap. It wasn't even a good movie!]

By the time we arrive, my "allergy" has turned into a full blown sinus infection complete with clogged ears, bright yellow jello-like snot and assorted drips and sneezes and grossness that comes with being sick.

I get to the office, 5 hours late the whole purpose of the trip now rendered meaningless due to the alcoholic pilot and I have missed 3 meetings and gotten one nasty email stating "if you are not going to attend the meeting you should let me know ahead of time..." Ugh whatever bitch, I don't need this shit!

Then the flight back, I'm even sicker at this point, totally doped up on over the counter medicines that work for 5 minutes and then you have to take more - so I pretty much spent the entire time in a Benedryl induced fugue state and don't realize that we land 20 minutes late. Of course my car isn't there and when I call to find out where it might be I get "be patient". Are you fucking kidding me?!?! Be patient?! WTF is the purpose of hiring a car to pick you up at a certain time if they aren't going to be there?? And why do I have to be patient, it's YOUR fault that you're not here on time, everyone else's cars are here, they walk out and they see their car and they leave. Not me, I have to another 40 minutes on top of the 20 minutes late the flight was and then another 25 minutes to taxi to the terminal, and get my bags and then I have to listen to this driver's sob story about how it took him almost 2 hours to get to the airport because there was some construction on some bridge, like I should be sympathetic. Does he realize I could give a rats ass?! Then just because I'm not already in enough misery, we get pulled over because a fucking headlight is out on the car and we have to wait 20 minutes to go through the whole license and registration, here's a summons etc bullshit. By the time I got home it was after 2:30 am. I now need a vacation from this travel!

*drunk(!)