BABY STROLLERS

I fear my neighborhood is being taken over by these things and I'll tell you right now, I don't like it. I am so sick of going out to eat at a nice place and then having to hear some fucking kid screaming its head off, or finding crayons on the table, or having to maneuver around some fucking 8 person carriage contraption when you're on the sidewalk going to the next bar! Why do we allow this? Instead of us trying to keep out the blacks and the gays, why don't we focus on what we all really hate - kids?! I mean nothing brings your single and lonely status more into focus than your deadbeat friends, the last 2 holdouts, the ones that make bongs out of fruit and eat something called "leftover casserole" bringing home a baby but not moving to LI like all good people should do. Now you have them in your face all the time, wanting to bring the kid everywhere you go but you can't complain because you're friends right? But then because these "friends" want to stay hip and cool you're required to be the 3rd wheel at every event even though these events were made for single people like YOU!! Where does it end??? I for one am taking stand! I am no longer going to put up with crying kids, if I hear one, I'm complaining to management. If I trip over your stupid ass carriage I am going to sue you, motherfucker. I really just long for the days when there were crack pipes and used condoms on the floor, not cheerios and "ba-ba's". And I will not rest (from complaining) until that happens again!!