Friday, July 06, 2007


I was out the other night doing some light socializing (10 vodka & soda’s/1 tequila shot/2 PBR’s) and one of the people in the group I was with was this Australian guy and I gotta say, pretty disappointing. Not once did he say “g’day mate” or a "let's put another shrimp on the barbi!" (even though we baited him by talking about Aussie restaurants and eating alligator) or order a Foster’s or even show us his machete which we all know from the movies he carries in his boot! WTF? If you can’t live up to the stereotyping of your nation and culture then how am I supposed to know how to insult you correctly?! I didn’t know if I should give him shit for Tony Blair being such a pussy or ask him why his people keep raping and pillaging the Aborigines! (We settled on the Aborigines but apparently we were actually talking about the Maori’s so I still insulted someone. New Zealand maybe?) Anyway don’t expect me to learn pesky things like “facts” about your country, like most patriotic citizens; I prefer to get my knowledge from things like TV commercials and maps that double as placemats at IHOP.

America, FUCK YEAH!


Anonymous said...

Oh, how I hate Americans.

Anonymous said...

Wow. And I truly thought Americans couldn't get any worse. I'm Australian, so let me give you some FACTS. We do not go around raping Aboriginal people, "shrimp on the barbie" is not used here, we have CROCODILES in Australia - there's a difference between them and alligators. Also, I've never seen a machete in real life (let alone carry one) and we do not drink Foster's!

Actually, the Foster's jibe was the most irritating, since all that piss is exported to you guys because nobody in their right mind would drink it here (Proof: I've never seen Foster's sold in a pub here). Ever.

And what the bloody hell does Tony Blair have to do with Australia? There's a difference between us and the UNITED KINGDOM. Get yourself a better map.

Don't use alcohol as an excuse, either. I've seen drunkards on the street in Sydney who are more intelligent, tactful and polite than yourself.

This post just gives the world more fodder with which to insult Americans. Good job.

Anonymous said...

i think he's joking...? sarcasm, no?

Anonymous said...

Wow, just stumbled across this randomly. Don't they have sarcasm in Australia? Actually, I know they do. He was clearly kidding. Get yourself a sense of humor and lighten up.

Anonymous said...

Tony Blair has nothing to do with Australia that's England. Crocidiles are different to Alligators, Crocidiles are bigger and more deadly. No body says put a shrimp on the barbie for over a centuary, and infact that saying was made up by americans not us. Obviously you are being sarcastic but you really sound so un educated.

Robbie Bell said...

Sarcasm much, mate? You just made Aussies look like a bunch of morons without a sense of humor, jackass.