I was out the other night doing some light socializing (10 vodka & soda’s/1 tequila shot/2 PBR’s) and one of the people in the group I was with was this Australian guy and I gotta say, pretty disappointing. Not once did he say “g’day mate” or a "let's put another shrimp on the barbi!" (even though we baited him by talking about Aussie restaurants and eating alligator) or order a Foster’s or even show us his machete which we all know from the movies he carries in his boot! WTF? If you can’t live up to the stereotyping of your nation and culture then how am I supposed to know how to insult you correctly?! I didn’t know if I should give him shit for Tony Blair being such a pussy or ask him why his people keep raping and pillaging the Aborigines! (We settled on the Aborigines but apparently we were actually talking about the Maori’s so I still insulted someone. New Zealand maybe?) Anyway don’t expect me to learn pesky things like “facts” about your country, like most patriotic citizens; I prefer to get my knowledge from things like TV commercials and maps that double as placemats at IHOP.
America, FUCK YEAH!