CODE RED!!

This is just the most ridiculous news story I've read, like, EVER! I mean who are these people making these comments?? It's fucking coffee people and it's not even good coffee, it's burnt overpriced shitty coffee. Personally, I'm shocked and appalled that people actually say these things. About coffee! And now I'm talking about it! Stop me!

YOUR SELLOUT IS INEVITABLE

All this Diablo Cody/Stuart Weitzman shit is really pissing me off. I'm not really all for corporate america, I think they take advantage of their employees and the rich keep getting richer and all that crap. But Ms. Cody, you agreed to wear these shoes, you knew they were made with real diamonds and were worth over 1 million dollars PER shoe! Even if it wasn't specifically written out for you and reiterated every fucking day into your precious little ears, did you think you'd be getting these shoes based on the fact that they liked you?! Did you not at all think that maybe this company would want to use your name and the prestige of the Oscars to promote their products? To act so naive really doesn't suit you, I would expect more street smarts from a former stripper and quite frankly you should be used to whoring yourself out - at least this time you're getting money/diamonds for it instead of cheeseburgers and condoms. I don't think for one second that she's being "indie cool" about this, I mean let's not forget the fact that she did accept the shoes in the first place, this is just her way of trying to cover up the pretty obvious fact that's she's on the path to selloutsville.

UPDATE: AH HAAAAA!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA I FUCKING KNEW IT! Read on dear reader(s).

I HAVE PICTURS OF KATE HUDSON....*EATING A SALAD*

This video validates all my rants about TMZ that I only share verbally and when drunk

MISTER CONTACTS

Mister Contacts is at it again, he texted me at 6:51 this morning for the work email addy of a friend of mine. Now I know he doesn't even LIKE this guy, I mean he brought him up last night and called him "gay" so WTF does he want his work addy for? I'm sure its for some "project" that he's doing that he doesn't know what he's doing so he needs help from people he barely knows or likes. Ugh. So I was like "I'll have to ask him if its ok ot give out his work info" and then he texted me back and was like "forget it, I found him on facebook". Why does this annoy me so much? Am I being totally unreasonable?

BAI LING...SINGS??

Could this bitch get anymore ridiculous??

GOSSIP GRANNIES

What is happening to the gossip at Page Six?? Some "boldface" names today - Fergie, the Dutchess of Pork, a friend of Bill Clintons', some lame Jimmy Kimmel last ditch attempt to stay relevent, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Anna Paquin, Lou Reed, Bill Irwin, Renée Fleming, Patrick Stewart, Star Jones, Michael Stipe and Alicia Keys buying a BLUE HANDBAG!!! Have Army Archerd and Liz Smith taken over this column now? It's terrible! I'm so disappointed.

GOOD TIMES

You know what's awesome?? When friends convince you to do stuff like put together a happy hour or throw a party and then they invite a ton of people which you then prepare for and then they decide not just to not show up, but to not tell you either. Those people are so fucking cool I wish they would die.

MY CONTACTS ARE BETTER THAN YOUR CONTACTS

I have a friend who uses all my friends to network with. I find it really irritating, even if I meet someone when we're out and he sees that I get their number, he always asks me to give it to him too so he can find them on facebook or text them. I don't want to be that person that gives out everyone's contact info!! No one will want to be friends with me. And this "networking" isn't even work related, I swear he just does it to see if any of them will go out with him and if not at least he looks like he has a lot of friends on facebook. This really fucking bothers me, to the point where I am not just not responding to his requests. I know that's immature but I feel like if he wants to network so badly he should fucking get his own contacts, right?!

KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS!

Bill Cosby was right!

ON A BED, ON THE FLOOR, ON A TOWEL BY THE DOOR...

I'm starting to love this guy!

SMALL PLATES

Sean Young getting all drunk and disorderly at the DGA is hilarious because I know that would totally be me! Read all about it here.

Why is Daniel Day Lewis all over this Heath Ledger thing, breaking down on Oprah, and then dedicating his SAG award to him? He didn't even KNOW him!! WTF, bandwagon much??

I was watching the news the other day and there was a fire in some warehouse that was huge and the teaser was "we don't have much information about the fire, but what we can say is there is a huge fire raging right now..." Are they serious? I mean we can see that its a fucking raging fire, why do we also have to be reminded of how stupid our newscasters are too?!

What is the deal with the fat guy from Lost? Its been like what, 3-4 years they've been out there? Why is he still so fat? I would think being stranded on an island would be good for the old waistline, what is he trapping and eating out there? PS, i don't know who amber is, but apparently she's having a party. woo hoo.

FAFA RULES MY LIFE

i'm part of this celebrity fantasy league on fafarazzi.com and its really annoying me how everyone claims i'm the celebrity gossip queen yet i'm in 8th fucking place and everytime i go to pick up a celebrity to add to my team, someone else has beaten me to it!!! I'm like obsessed with this game and i swear the second i have to go do some work, something big happens and i miss out on the points!! ARRRGGGG it's driving me crazy! Anyway, here's my crappy team, it changes every day though.

I HATE...

I find it really irritating that people answer their cells phones at places like work and the doctors office and restaurants, when they have no idea who is calling them. I mean is their curiousity so great that they can't just push the call to VM?? Is their need to beloved only validated and confirmed by how many phone calls they get? Why do I (and everyone within hearing distance of you) have to be subjected to hearing you repeatedly say "hello?? Who is this? How did you get my number? I think you have the wrong number. No, its ok, I dial the wrong number all the time! Ok, you have a great day too!". ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????

Internet Party: When Google's parents leave town...

Facebook is exactly as annoying as i imagined it to be! And how awesome "the 6th most underrated smurf is..." haha

I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE, ALL OVER AGAIN!

THIS IS WHY I'M STILL SINGLE!!

It was my birthday weekend and I went out to dinner with some friends on Sat night and since they were bringing thir SOs, I invited a guy friend I know. Mainly he got the invite because he recently moved a few blocks away from the restaurant we were going to and he'd been bugging me to see his new place for the past few months and I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone.

So we go to dinner and after him making a few innappropriate comments we decide to go to a bar down the block for drinks and shit. We get there and he immediately disappears for the whole time we are there! He doesn't even say anything, he just disappears and then later we see him trying to talk to a girl. So I am like "what a rude motherfucker!" and we end up leaving at like 11:30 which he doesn't notice until midnight. Anyway, I haven't spoke to him since that, I never responded to his texts, until today. This is excruciating but I have to share!

RudeGuy: sorry about the other night.....
RudeGuy: I hope all is well!
RudeGuy went idle at 3:22:36 PM.
RudeGuy returned at 3:23:54 PM.
RudeGuy went idle at 3:34:15 PM.
RudeGuy returned at 4:05:20 PM.
NiceBlogger_P&K: rudeguy, i think the way you left us the other night was incredibly rude. I have no issues if you met up with some friends and you told us that you wanted to hang out with them, but to just leave us like that, and not say anything and be gone the whole time from the second we arrived was shocking behavior.
NiceBlogger_P&K: but i'm not your parent, the way you behave is your doing, i'm not going to chastize you. Just suffice it to say that I apologize if i inadvertentally did something to offend you, or if someone else in the party did.
NiceBlogger_P&K: other than that i can't think of any reason why a person would act like that.
RudeGuy: wow.
RudeGuy: I was at the bar the whole time, I was just hitting on someone. It started going well....that's all. It lasted longer than I thought and when I walked up front you guys were gone.
RudeGuy: That never happens...or at least to me.
RudeGuy: it was just that kind on situation. I texted you when I left and didn't mean any harm.
RudeGuy: I thought you'd be making fun of me....I wasn't that far away.
NiceBlogger_P&K: kyle, we know you were hitting on some girl, we saw you the whole time
NiceBlogger_P&K: its not the fact that you were doing that
RudeGuy: lol
NiceBlogger_P&K: its the fact that you didn't think to be courteous and tell us that you met up with a friend tha tyou wanted to chat with
NiceBlogger_P&K: you realize that it was my birthday?
RudeGuy: are you kidding?
NiceBlogger_P&K: just really rude, i don't think i want to be friends with someone that values chatting up a strange girl at a bar over a friend. and i'm not being dramatic, i think you should have said "hey, i'm chatting up a girl' and we would have understood, you could have even texted it to me, you didn't have to leave her
RudeGuy: I so didn't realize that....at all.
RudeGuy: wow.
NiceBlogger_P&K: um, when tony and juliannne came in they wished me a happy birthday
NiceBlogger_P&K: i'm just really shocked right now
RudeGuy: wow.
RudeGuy: I'm not sure what to say. I apologized and I didn't mean to be rude to you.
RudeGuy: I felt like you were having fun with the gang and I didn't leave....I just went to the back to go to the can and then blamo. It wasn't a huge deal but it was just fun at a bar.
NiceBlogger_P&K: we were there for 90 minutes
NiceBlogger_P&K: and of course i was having fun with my friends, but you didn't even stop when we got there, you just went right to the back
NiceBlogger_P&K: whatever
RudeGuy: hey.
NiceBlogger_P&K: i don't want to debate this
RudeGuy: we are not.
RudeGuy: at all.
RudeGuy: I texted you to apologize.
RudeGuy: I'm not saying it was the best thing to do and sometimes I'm not perfect. I wasn't being hurtful at all. I do feel bad that you feel bad about it.
RudeGuy: I really didn't think you'd care at all.
NiceBlogger_P&K: you're really selfish
NiceBlogger_P&K: its all about you, right?
RudeGuy: wow.
NiceBlogger_P&K: you didn't think that maybe i'd want to hang out with you?
NiceBlogger_P&K: why would i invite you?
RudeGuy: I'm sorry, Kim.
NiceBlogger_P&K: you think i invite people out on my birthday so they can leave me?
RudeGuy: hey.....
RudeGuy: to be honest sometimes when we hang out.....
RudeGuy: I wish it was more.......but I know you want to be friends.
NiceBlogger_P&K: i can't even comprehend what you're saying,
RudeGuy: ok.
NiceBlogger_P&K: you're saying tha tyou want it to be more, and to prove that you'll ditch me on my birthday to talk to a random girl?
RudeGuy: that's not it at all.
NiceBlogger_P&K: how does that make sense with you?
RudeGuy: I'm trying to explain.
RudeGuy: we've never even had this much of a conversation.....or one this honest before.
RudeGuy: I just honestly thought you were bringing me as a friend.
NiceBlogger_P&K: I WAS
NiceBlogger_P&K: you're missing the whole point
NiceBlogger_P&K: the point isn't that you were talking to a girl
RudeGuy: I'm not totally.
RudeGuy: I know.
NiceBlogger_P&K: its that you didn't tell us that you were going to be doing that
NiceBlogger_P&K: that's it
NiceBlogger_P&K: that's all i wanted to say, i'm not mad, i'm just shocked
RudeGuy: Us?
NiceBlogger_P&K: us, me and my friends
RudeGuy: I mean I should have told you.
RudeGuy: well you were the most important.
RudeGuy went idle at 5:14:11 PM.
RudeGuy returned at 5:15:20 PM.
RudeGuy: Kim....I'm not perfect. I know that. We all have our moments.
RudeGuy: I didn't just leave and I should have thought of you.
RudeGuy: are you there?

TV, GOOD!!

I'm so psyched for a new 30 Rock tonight! Spooky, scary!

LET ME SMELL YO' DICK

Is this the best song they could have picked for a presidential hopeful to be dancing to on day time television????

I'M PRETTY SURE THIS IS REAL....

I AM ADDICTED TO THIS!

do you know if I can download as a rington? It's so effing catchy, I'm sure there is a dance mix out there already!