I'M TOO ANNOYED TO THINK OF A TITLE FOR THIS

from the Post, Page 6: "BIJOU Phillips would love nothing more than for her long-time boyfriend, Danny Masterson, to pop the question. Though reps assure us the two have not yet talked about marriage, Phillips was overheard gushing over her beau of three years backstage at the Jill Stuart fashion show. Our spy said, "She talked about how he doesn't do any drugs and she's only surrounded by people who are good for her when she's with him.""

Why does she have to surround herself with people that are good for her, why can't she make her own mind up? What is she 12, she doesn't know how to say no? Give me a break, she needs to take responsibility for own life and actions and stop blaming her problems on "other people". Fucking celebrities, they're all fucked in the head.

I KNOW WHO KILLED ME

Christ, I am so irritated right now, all this fucking media coverage of Lindsay Lohan's most recent arrest and here's the best part, her mother states:

"My children, my family, we are like prisoners in our own home because paparazzi [are stalking us] outside [our] home. Lindsay is in a safe place. We are waiting for the press frenzy to die down and leave her alone. And please respect our privacy."

Is she for fucking real?! Is this not the SAME person who invited cameras into her daughters last stay in rehab?? Who turns every public appearance by her kids into a gimmick to sell herself as a celebrity?? I totally agree with celebrities who have the "I'm a person, I need my personal time" but people who fucking invite media and cameras and attention and then complain about it when its not flattering to them, should get the "Swimming With Sharks" treatment (papercuts, lemon juice, salt, hot pepper sauce) with their press releases. Who does this bitch think she is? I'm not a parent and I definitely think kids need to grow up at some point, but this mother has done everything in her power to make her daughter the mess she is today, she should be in jail for neglect. How is Lindsay ever going to learn consequences when her mother condones everything thing she does? If she devoted half the time she spends on marketing herself and taking advantage of her kids, maybe they wouldn't be so fucking screwed up! Ugh, I don't even know why I care so much, this shit just drives me nuts.

SWEET FANCY MOSES

Why can't these celebrities dance? Paris and Nicki Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, and now, Bai Ling. In my day people knew how to dance and if they didn't, they stayed against the wall or they just didn't go out. Nowadays, these girls just lick a stripper pole and imitate an epileptic seizure and they call that dancing?! THAT'S DANCING?! And correct me if I'm wrong, but these girls don't actually do much of anything right? Sure they're in a stinker of a movie every now and then, but they spend most of their time half naked and drunk at clubs laughing at everyone else, don't they? You'd think they'd pick up some rhythm just by osmosis, right? Or at the very least they'd realize that they were terrible dancers and stop assaulting our eyes with these "moves". How are their friends not laughing their asses off when they see this? How is the person holding this camera not rolling around the floor in hysterics? Elaine with the "Little Kicks" is better at dancing than these fools.