FUCK WHOLE FOODS

I was just at Whole Foods and I am SO MAD! I was getting bottled water and it was on sale for 3 for $4 so I went and got a 6 pack. I get to the register and it scans it at the regular price so I tell him that it's on sale, blah blah. So then he recites this whole list of questions like he's fucking interrogating me and then gives me this speech about how you have to buy them by single bottles only and I can go get 6 loose bottles (but I can;t do that because i need the handle on the shrink wrap to carry this many bottles home, a paper bag handle is not strong enough), so I'm like "because I buy in bulk I get to pay more" and he has to the nerve to be like "yeah" and not even have the courtesy to look sheepish about this! So then the guy behind me is like "can't you just scan the bottle instead of the bar code on the outside packaging?" so being bombarded by good sense and a growing line, he goes "i'm not supposed to do this" like he's giving them to me for free or something, but of course it doesn't work and he has to call a manager. A MANAGER FOR GODS SAKE! so then she goes on about some fucking inventory reason why they can;t do it and its just like kill me already. Here I am, trying to buy some of your goods, maybe I don't understand commerce but would you rather sell the 6 pack at the sale price or would you rather not sell anything at all?? I ended up not buying them because I was so ticked off. I've seen murderers get off easier than this.

This whole experience reminded me of a story a friend of mine told me. She went there looking for fois gras and the person behind the counter was like "we only sell cruelty free items here". Why couldn't they have just said no, instead they have to push their fucking do-gooder, hippy dippy, liberal, douchebag agenda on people. Fuck you Whole Foods. I'm sick of your shit. You're a fucking supermarket so get over yourself.

WHEN DOES FOOTBALL START?

I am so glad the Olympics are over, I'm so sick of the way people go on and one about them. I was at a dinner party the other night and these people are talking about how they are up until like 3 am watching this crap. Are table tennis, archery and weight lifting that exciting? What am I missing here? National pride? Oh yeah, I bet other countries are sooo jealous of our skills. I can just picture them now "oh I hate those Americans but let's give them props for their volleyball talent". Enough already.

1800 KILL ME!

These commercials are in heavy rotation here in Cali and they are sooo irritating! This woman's voice makes me long for the sweet sounds of nails on a blackboard, and seriously are people this fucking stupid that they'd rather live with rotting teeth than see a dentist??

TAPPA TAPPA TAPPA

I really hate it when people bring laptops into meetings. You call a meeting and someone's tapping away, obviously they aren't paying attention to whatever the moderator is saying. Why even bother to come?? I don't allow them in meetings I call, but other people do and I think they should ban them. Fucking rude!

LICK IT AND STICK IT

I was just walking back from Starbucks and this guy said to me "now you have someone to lick on.". He was talking about my dog. WTF?!