P&K is....

Finally after years of pressure from my friends, I finally joined Facebook. And I hate it. I hate all the stupid "pithy" updates people write, like "I hate mondays" and "so and so is..." and "work sux". UGH. Here's an update - "you're not Seinfeld!!" No one cares about the boring minutia of your daily life except YOU! Or the random exes that you forgot you even dated who find you and want to "catch up". Barf. The only thing worse (in my mind) now, is Twitter. Please God, don't let Twitter find a way to monetize, PLEASE!!

Same Old...

Wow, it's been a few months! Things are ok with me, still in San Fran, finally got all my furniture assembled so now I guess I am officially settled in, still technically single, busy at work, I won our last Fafa pool, which was awesome! I guess I probably haven't written in a while because I have a whole new group of people I can rant at. But I didn't want to spread myself too thin - so I'm back!

WHO'S WHO

I don't get Megan Fox' appeal. To me she just looks like a skinnier Bratz doll. I think its creepy how she's always saying in interviews how she wants to be just like Angelina Jolie, and now she's starting to resemble her and how she's always talking about sex. To me it just sounds like someone who would do anything for attention from men. I don't know if its low self esteem, poor education or what, but someone needs to tell her to just be herself.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO SOCIETY?

A person I work with came to me yesterday telling me about this video he just had to send me that was so hilarious, and it turned out it was a mash up of hitler speeches that made it sound like he was shilling for cell phones or something (I didn't actually watch it, I'm just going by his description), and I was like "why is this being made?". Honestly, who thinks this is funny? Hitler is responsible for one of the biggest genocides in history, and someone thinks its appropriate to make a "funny" video starring him? To me that is just disgusting and that person should be shunned, not made an "internet sensation" which I'm sure will happen any day now. It just makes me sick that there are people out there who would find that amusing or worthy to pass around. What are people thinking?! And don't try to give me the argument that satirizing it lessens the stigma, we should not be doing that. Some things should stay awful and uncomfortable, as a reminder to everyone how good they have it. This also goes for the terms rape, nigger (and any other racial slur).

WHERE DID I LEAVE MY HEART?

Ever since I moved to SF every single person I speak to asks me how I like it and I always try to be polite and say I like and its fun and nice a good change of pace. People here tend to get offended if you dare say anything that isn't a ringing endorsement of the city. But here's my deep, dirty, dark secret. I don't care about it. I don't like it or dislike it, I'm totally ambivilent about it. I can take it or leave it. It's not that it's a bad place or anything but there's nothing spectacular about it. The weather is retarded, the people are not as friendly as you originally think, the bars close at like midnight, the gays think they own the place. It's just a place to live for a while. Maybe in another 6 months I'll think differently but right now I really don't give a shit about it. If it wasn't for my job, I'd never move here. So there, kill me if you want but that's the truth.

AN ISRAEL THAT WON'T KILL YOU

Has anyone seen the billboards for Israel tourism?? There is one right outside my building and I have to say it's no I heart NY! I tried to get a picture of it but my camera phone is shit and I'm like the one person in the world without a digital camera (hint hint christmas present idea!).

DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE A HANKERING FOR CRUSHED CRULLERS?!

Have you seen the recent pictures of Tara Reid's fucked up body on the beach the other day (if not, see above)? Am I the only one thinking that this is just too easy now? She obviously has issues but if she's ok with it why do the rest of us care? Sure it's gross to look at but I've seen worse. It's not much of a coup when the target is so pathetic.

SINGLED OUT

Jenny McCarthy always irritated me, that stupid blonde act, the stupid show on MTV and then she started dating that stupid Jim Carrey. But this US Weekly article about how she cured, oh excuse me, "recovered", her son from autism really made me grit my teeth. First of all, why is this a story NOW? According to this she "recovered" him 3 years ago. Secondly, who does she think she is? The language she uses is a tad grandiose. Some direct quotes, this one to God "you fix my boy, you show me the way and I'll teach the world". Are you fucking kidding me??? She spreading God's word? I guess it in a way it makes sense, He did always take to whores (remember Mary Magdelene?). And how about this one "I'm doing it, I'm pulling him out!" about his recovery. According to this article all she did was restrict dairy and wheat and let him watch Nickelodeon. Wow, that's some miracle worker there, let's start the petition to make her a saint. And then about her son getting the MMR shot and setting the future in motion "I felt a chill. It was like I was watching destiny happen, loss of eye contact, loss of language.". Give me a BREAK! That happened all in that one second it took to give the kid a shot??

I have to say there are a lot of people out there that have kids with autism (and worse) who are not being "recovered" and to hear her crow about her victory seems a little like mud in their eye. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad her son is better, but is printing an interview like this in a gossip magazine the best way to reach people? All her statistics are disputed by the CDC, and quite frankly this quote seems to make the most sense in the whole article, "Rates (of autism) have gone up since the early 1990's, possibly due to increased diagnosis.". Even she said that her son was misdiagnosed in the beginning, so can't this be true as a more general statement and not due to the MMR shot alone? And the kicker to this whole "recovery" is that she didn't even figure this out herself, she got all her information from a website! As I said, I'm glad her son is ok, and that she's happy but seriously, enough about this "I'm showing you the way of God" crap, it's not like she cured autism the disease, she just did what any other parent would do in this situation, she cared for her kid. A lot of other mothers and fathers have done the same, why aren't we putting them up on a cover too?

WHICH COUNTRY'S GOT TALENT??

I was flipping through the channels last night and came upon "America's Got Talent". Query, why are 2/3rds of the judges on this show, English?? That kind of blew my mind (although I'm sure the 4 happy hour vodkas helped too!).

FUCK WHOLE FOODS

I was just at Whole Foods and I am SO MAD! I was getting bottled water and it was on sale for 3 for $4 so I went and got a 6 pack. I get to the register and it scans it at the regular price so I tell him that it's on sale, blah blah. So then he recites this whole list of questions like he's fucking interrogating me and then gives me this speech about how you have to buy them by single bottles only and I can go get 6 loose bottles (but I can;t do that because i need the handle on the shrink wrap to carry this many bottles home, a paper bag handle is not strong enough), so I'm like "because I buy in bulk I get to pay more" and he has to the nerve to be like "yeah" and not even have the courtesy to look sheepish about this! So then the guy behind me is like "can't you just scan the bottle instead of the bar code on the outside packaging?" so being bombarded by good sense and a growing line, he goes "i'm not supposed to do this" like he's giving them to me for free or something, but of course it doesn't work and he has to call a manager. A MANAGER FOR GODS SAKE! so then she goes on about some fucking inventory reason why they can;t do it and its just like kill me already. Here I am, trying to buy some of your goods, maybe I don't understand commerce but would you rather sell the 6 pack at the sale price or would you rather not sell anything at all?? I ended up not buying them because I was so ticked off. I've seen murderers get off easier than this.

This whole experience reminded me of a story a friend of mine told me. She went there looking for fois gras and the person behind the counter was like "we only sell cruelty free items here". Why couldn't they have just said no, instead they have to push their fucking do-gooder, hippy dippy, liberal, douchebag agenda on people. Fuck you Whole Foods. I'm sick of your shit. You're a fucking supermarket so get over yourself.

WHEN DOES FOOTBALL START?

I am so glad the Olympics are over, I'm so sick of the way people go on and one about them. I was at a dinner party the other night and these people are talking about how they are up until like 3 am watching this crap. Are table tennis, archery and weight lifting that exciting? What am I missing here? National pride? Oh yeah, I bet other countries are sooo jealous of our skills. I can just picture them now "oh I hate those Americans but let's give them props for their volleyball talent". Enough already.

1800 KILL ME!

These commercials are in heavy rotation here in Cali and they are sooo irritating! This woman's voice makes me long for the sweet sounds of nails on a blackboard, and seriously are people this fucking stupid that they'd rather live with rotting teeth than see a dentist??

TAPPA TAPPA TAPPA

I really hate it when people bring laptops into meetings. You call a meeting and someone's tapping away, obviously they aren't paying attention to whatever the moderator is saying. Why even bother to come?? I don't allow them in meetings I call, but other people do and I think they should ban them. Fucking rude!